I just made like 8 tons of macaroni and cheese from scratch. OMG. Worst idea ever. I was just going to make pasta, then remembered I had macaroni noodles, and there is a recipe for a mac n cheese bake on the box, so I thought, "what the heck, it can't be that hard".... boy was I wrong! First of all, I apparently have NO sense of size when it comes to measurements. 16 oz pasta which I intended to put in a medium pot; 4 cups milk and 1/2 cup butter which I intended to put in the small pot (plus 3 cups of cheese).... and I had a cassarole dish set out, which was apparently not that large.
[Begin scene]
Mom walks into the kitchen to get ice cream for Dad....
M: What are you making?
T: (standing over stove with small pot of butter) Macaroni and cheese.
M: Oh I see. How much are you making??
T: Umm.. Idk what does the box say..... (grabs box)
M: (Looks at cassarole dish) You're going to need a much larger dish. Like the biggest one we've got.
T: Well shoot. (abandons melting butter and flour in search of a larger dish)
M: Don't stop stirring or it will stick to the pot!
T: Well how am I supposed to do all of this if I can't leave? (returning to stir the melting butter/flour mix, and noticing the water boiling in the next pot) and now with my third arm I will add the pasta to the water....
M: How much do you need?
T: All of it.
M: All of it? (looks at water boiling in medium pot, and then to the 16 oz box of pasta) You're going to need a bigger pot.
T: Poop. (still melting butter in the small pot) Can you get the bigger pot?
Mom transfers the hot water to the larger pot, and adds more water.
T: Oh shoot... I need the milk now. Can you hand me the milk?
M: How much?
T: Four cups.
M: Four cups?? You're going to need a bigger pot than that...
Tanda stares at the pot... then stares at the sink where the empty medium pot is....
T: Can you bring me the medium pot???
Mom brings pot, and Tanda scrapes the butter/flour mix into the larger pot and Mom starts adding milk.
M: You need to add it slowly, and then wait for it to thicken. Then you can add the cheese.
Mom adds 2 cups of milk.
T: My arm is getting tired.
M: Not done yet! This is only half!
T: Aaahhhh....
Mom adds the other two cups.
T: Shoot. I need the cheese.
M: How much?
T: Umm... what does the box say... 3 cups? 3 cups.
M: You might have just enough cheese. (looks at ziplock grated cheese bag) let me put this in a bowl for you...
T: I need more hands... (starts throwing handfuls of cheese in the milk/butter/flour mixture)
M: You need to wait for it to thicken before you add the cheese. Then add a little bit at a time...
T: (stares blankly at pot)
M: Keep mixing! Well.. it might not thicken now...
T: Great. (slops hot liquid all over stove)
Insert comment from mom about keeping the stuff IN the pot... while laughing. Meanwhile the pasta has been added to the water, and boiled for 8 out of 10 minutes.
T: You're only laughing because you know you don't have to clean it. (looks at timer). Great, how am I supposed to strain that if I've still got all this cheese?
M: You've got two minutes... you can do it.
T: (looks at the cheese) yeah... right. You said to add it slowly....
M: Hmm... it says to add the pasta to the cheese sauce.. but I don't think that's going to work, so you'll just have to pour it on top of the pasta in the dish. Now I have to give dad his ice cream before it melts.
T: You're leaving!?!?!?!?!?!
M: Well, I guess I could strain this for you... (strains pasta and pours it into large cassarole dish). You'll be fine. Did you preheat the oven?
T: Of course not.
[End scene]
And so it plays on. I hate chemistry and I am not a chef. And NOW she tells me... "Next time I'll show you how to halve the recipe"... You couldn't have mentioned that sooner??????
I made all that food and now I don't want to eat it because its terrible. And there is so much of it. Gah.
